(written on 8/11/2019)
"Do as I say not as I do" is complete BS.
Your child is observing everything you do.
That means they watch...
-How you talk
-What your routine is
-How you interact with other people
-How you handle conflict
-How to be treated or how to treat others in a relationship
-What to eat
-What to do in their free time
EVERYTHING!
And they watch to learn.
The first three years of life are the most crucial in development because children's brains are like sponges and they are developing mentally, verbally, emotionally, and socially.
So the way you role model how to live life in those three years, pretty much sets the standard of how they will do a lot of things in their lives. (outside of adolescence which is a whole other developmental stage). Adults can go back and unlearn and relearn things, but remember old habits are hard to break.
So why do they watch to learn you may ask?
Well.... Humans are mammals.
And mammals learn how to survive by watching their parents.
Lioness' and their cubs
Elephants and their calves
Dolphins and their young
They learn by watching and REPEATING EVERYTHING.
Mimicry is how they create the habits for their own lives.
It's behavior conditioning.
As the parent, you are your child's role model.
So if you are practicing intentional parenting, you must want your child to do everything you do. And for many of you, that may mean getting your act together.
Eating healthier.
Exercising.
Maintaining balance of self-care and passions.
And understanding what values you want your children to have and how you are going to teach them.
And your co-parent is just as important, whether you are in a relationship with them or not, again, it's all lessons to the child. (Community parenting with extended family and community leads to less dependence on the two parent nuclear structure.)
Which is why I say, before you decide to have children...WORK ON YOU.
Get your mind, body, heart, and spirit right cause your children will be impacted by all of it.
Children see what is happening.
Children hear the whispers, the yelling, and the talk behind closed doors.
Children feel when there is tension, stress, discomfort, and/or pain in the air.
As a parent, you are their first teacher about the world.
As a parent, you are the person who shares information with them about what happens in the world and how the world works.
As a parent, it is you who provides them with social learning.
"With Great Power comes Great Responsibility."
~Spiderman (and Voltaire)