Reflection story:🔍So it's starting to happen 💛
5 years ago, I made the decision to move to California. Once I found my spirit and home in Oakland, I decided to stay in California (the original plan was to move back East after school).
But because of finances (cause cost of living!) I haven't been able to fly back home.
And now, I'm building a life in Oakland, I'm building a life with my partner, and I still won't be going home that much. Cause Oakland is my home now.
When I was in San Diego, my parents flew in with me to help me move in, and they and my sister came to my graduation 🙏🏾. My partner and my niece both came to visit me while I was in SD.
But people haven't come out here to Oakland/Bay Area. I went back to Maryland for Christmas one year. I went to my mom's family reunion last year.
Now going on 3 years in Oakland... it's starting to change.
Family is coming here! To the Bay Area! cause people be hitting me from SoCal talking bout what's up? I'm like that 7 hour drive/1 hour flight. Lol California is big!
My cousin from my mom's side came out here for work a couple years ago 😊
And as of this year!Earlier this month, my partner's brother and wife and came out here to visit.
My niece is coming out here on the 4th of July. I haven't seen her in two years!!
And next month, some more family from my mom's side is coming out for vacation.
😊❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤😁
I've been reflecting with my partner that I will not see my family that often and having to accept that.
I will try to have one intentional trip to see family a year. But outside of that 🤷🏾♀️ they are gonna have to come out here.
Yes it was my choice to move across country. Yes it was my choice to move away from ALL of my family from both my mom's and dad's side. Yes it was my choice to move to a state where the cost of living limits me from being able to fly back often.
But I'm not moving back. And I can't hold that guilt anymore. Relationships are two ways.
Besides our elders and matriarchs are transitioning. It is up to the younger generations to seek out family when they are in a certain area.
Which reminds me of my mother's family coming up from the South. Or us traveling to the South to see them. The purpose of their travel was to visit family or when they would be in the area to let family there know so they could "visit with them."
I remember a cousin of my mom's who said he and his wife would visit us one day. A month later, there's a knock on the door and guess who it is? Lol (without calling though lmao) that's why Black families always had pound cake around lol in case somebody just showed up! 😂🍰
This is why I appreciate family coming out here to visit so so much. Also why my life has no room for negative energy nor drama. LIFE IS TOO SHORT for all that. We must live, love, and be full of light and peace 💛💛💛
And connect with one another!
And family means so much to me ❤❤❤❤ the family that is safe, supportive, accepting, loving, caring, healing.
My partner and I will be going to my mom's family reunion in Georgia next summer.
And we will be going to see his parents in Guyana in January.
I so appreciate the community I'm building in Oakland and my partner's family who lives here and/or visits often.
My future and my children's future will look differently from how I grew up and that's been hard for me to accept. 90s baby. So much has changed!
But in the words of AOC, "We can be whatever we have the courage to see. "
And I see a connected, supportive, and healing family. ❤❤❤
I will one day be the matriarch of a new generation. And I'm so thankful for the family who also understand the importance of these connections. 💛💛💛