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Happiness Takes Work

Writer's picture: LifeIsRocqiLifeIsRocqi

(written 12/5/2018)


When I say #HappinessTakesWork and I had to work my fuckin ass off this year...I'm not lying.


My goals for this year:

  1. Deconstruct and unlearn the concept of therapy from the Eurocentric education I received and become more confident in being a Black therapist

  2. Go back to therapy to work on my negative thinking, social anxiety, abandonment and rejection issues

  3. Build friendships and create a tribe

  4. Get my podcast on my platforms and do LIVE shows It's Soul Real

  5. Work on my first book of poetry


The steps I had to take to accomplish these goals:

  1. (Deconstruct and unlearn the concept of therapy from the Eurocentric education I received and become more confident in being a Black therapist)

    1. Attend Black Psychology workshops, Decolonizing the Psyche and trauma seminars, Black and Health conferences.

    2. Read Dr. Joy DeGruy's Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome

    3. Use storytelling with my clients

    4. Be my authentic self with my clients

    5. Acknowledge that limited self-disclosure is not taking into account Black culture.

    6. Listen to podcasts on Black Mental Health

  2. (Go back to therapy to work on my negative thinking, social anxiety, abandonment and rejection issues)

    1. Attend weekly therapy bringing a journal with me for processing and reflections

    2. Challenge my negative thoughts and learn new perspectives

    3. Journal constantly. Always processing my thoughts and my feelings and seeing if they are true or not as they are not always factual

    4. Join FB discussion groups to learn different perspectives

    5. Accept being alone, find happiness while being alone and going back to doing things I enjoyed alone

    6. Start attending events by myself

    7. Understand my limits and what causes significant distress

    8. Change the narrative I had in my head based on limited experiences.

    9. Find the reason in everything that happens.

  3. (Build friendships and create a tribe)

    1. Use Bumble app to make friends

    2. Go to Black women events to make friends

    3. Let go of the expectation to make friends and follow the connections I make

    4. Text new friends often

    5. Listen

  4. (Get my podcast on my platforms and do LIVE shows)

    1. Continuous posts on social media with hashtags to draw people in

    2. Live shows at 11am PST. Release the podcast out at 1pm PST

    3. Sign up with Anchor.FM and download old episodes (this took hours)

    4. Sign up with iTunes using Podcast Connect (took an hour)

    5. Create RSS Feed (first research wth that was) on Soundcloud then download all old episodes to rereleased now including RSS feed to show on new platforms

    6. It'sSoulReal is now available on 11 different platforms

  5. Work on my first book of poetry

    1. Gather my writing (after not having access to it for two years. Literally the miracles within the universe)

    2. Put poems into chapters

    3. Edit poems without changing my voice

    4. Write Acknowledgments

    5. Research publishing options

    6. Create Table of Contents

    7. Find editor and go over chapters with them then make edits

    8. Currently working on how to publish


Lessons:

Focus on the steps within the journey instead of focusing on the goal. Be present in your actions.

You gotta work your ass off for the things you want. This isn't a game. This is your life.


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